Chapter 21

"Big Brother ... Big Brother ..."

Who? Who is it? Are they calling me?

Xie Bi An opened his heavy eyelids and found himself in the mist. It seemed that there were many people hiding behind a curtain of mist, shadowy and hazy. Some are shouting, some are whispering, and some are sighing, but none of them could be heard clearly, except for the words "Big Brother".

He wanted to move forward, cut through the fog and find out what was going on, but his body is not listening to him.

"Big brother, big brother."

Who? Who is it? Where am I?

A small figure rushed out from the mist and jumped into his arms like a puppy, calling out crisply, "Big brother!"

Xie Bi An hugged that soft little boy. His heart twitched in pain. For a moment, it was as if something missing had been filled back in. He seemed to have known this child for a long time. He could even be sure that this child was very beautiful, very intelligent, and very dependent on him, but he could not even see this face.

Who are you? Why do you call me big brother?

Xie Bi An wanted to ask him, but he couldn't make a sound.

"Big brother, what are you cooking for Xiao Jiu today?"

Xiao Jiu? Your name is Xiao Jiu? Are you my younger brother? I heard from master saying that everyone in my family died of the plague, so perhaps I do have a younger brother?

Xie Bi An couldn't bear to let go of his hand, but his arms were suddenly empty, and Xiao Jiu had disappeared. He panicked. Where is Xiao Jiu? Where is his younger brother? He shouted for Xiao Jiu, but nothing came out.

He didn't know who Xiao Jiu was and he couldn't see Xiao Jiu's face, but he knew that Xiao Jiu is very important to him and he couldn't lose him.

As he was searching anxiously, his shoulders suddenly sank again, and a young boy intimately grabbed his neck. A voice as clear and pleasant as a mountain stream rang in his ears, "Look, big brother, I'm almost as tall as you."

Who are you?

"Hahaha, what if I grow taller than you in the future? Will you regret always making sure that I don't leave any leftovers?"

Could you be ... Xiao Jiu? How come you've suddenly grown so tall?

Xie Bi An was afraid that Xiao Jiu would disappear again and grabbed the teenager's hand. He was still trying hard to speak but was unable to make a sound.

Even though he tried his best to grab it, the teenager still disappeared like a gust of wind, leaving only a string of cheerful laughter that gradually became softer.

No, don't disappear. Where are you going? Don't disappear!

Xie Bi An hurriedly chased after him, but after a few steps, his ankle was suddenly grabbed. He looked down and saw that it was a bloody hand! The owner of the bloody hand crawled on the ground, and he could see the raging pain and hatred from the blurred mass of his face.

"Why ... big brother ... why did you do this …?" Each word was hurting his heart.

What?

"Not you, tell me, not you! Big brother ... why ..."

He recognized this voice, even though it had changed and had a voice between that of a teenager and a man, it was still clearly the same Xiao Jiu from before.

How did you get hurt? What are you talking about? What did I do?

"I trusted you so much, I listened to everything you said, I treated you ... why are you doing this to me?!"

Xie Bi An was desperate to help Xiao Jiu up. He was hurt, he was bleeding a lot, and needed medical attention.

But all of it was still in vain. He couldn’t do anything. He was caught in a terrible, bizarre dream in which he was both a participant and a bystander.

Suddenly, a large, strong hand strangled his neck.

Xie Bi An turned pale with fright. He was lifted off the ground by the hand, and before him stood a very tall man with five fingers as hard as iron, and he could not break free. He had developed an unprecedented fear of this man.

That man spoke, "Big brother, it's been a long time." The voice was cold, low, and evil, like a bayonet quenched with venom, hovering in front of him, ready to cut him open.

Could he also be ... Xiao Jiu?

Xie Bi An was thrown onto the ground viciously. Before he could take a breath, that tall man leaned down like a mountain, roughly tearing his sash.

Xie Bi An was like a fish on a chopping board, being taken over by the man who was on top of him, yet he was empty-handed; no cultivation, no sharp swords nor magical treasures. None of them were useful, and he could only be stripped naked while in fear.

When he realized what the man was about to do, he was thunderstruck and shocked beyond belief.

The man grabbed him roughly by the hair. His thin lips were pressed against his ear, and he spoke coldly: "Open your eyes and look clearly. This is the position you stole by any means necessary. From now on, whenever you sit here, you will no longer feel exclusive. You will only remember how you were kneeling and being f***ed by a man," He paused and chuckled. "My good big brother."

Xie Bi An struggled, "No, stop, don't---"

"Senior brother! Senior brother!"

Xie Bi An’s eyes snapped open and he saw a pair of fox eyes. They were perhaps the most beautiful and charming eyes he had ever seen, but now they overlapped with the cold man in his dream, making him shudder.

Fan Wu She looked at his frightened appearance and said patiently and soothingly, "Senior brother, what's wrong? Did you have a nightmare?"

Xie Bi An’s eyes slowly shifted from chaos to clarity. It took him a long time to come back to his senses and he stared blankly at Fan Wu She, "Wu She?"

"How are you, are you not feeling well?"

"I ..." Xie Bi An was a little confused for a moment between dream and reality. It was as if he had experienced someone else's life, but the experience was too real, it was almost as if ...

"Senior brother, do you still remember? You suddenly fainted on the Eight Trigrams Platform, is there something wrong with your health lately?"

"I fainted on Eight Trigrams Platform?" Xie Bi An rubbed his swollen and painful temples and sat up from the bed. He remembered what happened before he fainted, "It seems…it seems that there is something like that, but there is nothing wrong with my health. How could I suddenly faint?"

Fan Wu She looked at Xie Bi An steadily and asked, "How did you feel before you fainted, and what happened after? Did you have a nightmare? What did you dream about?"

Remembering the dream he had just now, Xie Bi An’s face turned white and red for a while, and he was at a loss for words.

"Senior brother?"

"I ... should have had a nightmare, but…it's a bit hard to remember." Xie Bi An wasn't lying. The details of the dream were vague. He woke up and roughly remembered some parts and forgot some parts. But he remembered clearly what the man had done and said to him.

How could he have had such a dream? It was simply unbelievable.

"Can't you remember anything?" Fan Wu She was very curious to know if Xie Bi An still had any memories of his past life and if it was triggered by the Eight Trigrams Platform.

Xie Bi An was too shy to talk about what had happened in his dream, and he hadn't even sorted out his own thoughts, plus he didn't want to worry Fan Wu She, so he glossed over it.

Fan Wu She stopped asking questions and gently wiped Xie Bi An's sweat with a cloth towel: "If you can't remember, don't think about it. You need to rest."

Xie Bi An looked at Fan Wu She’s patient and careful manner, and he felt warm in his heart: "Wu She, thanks to you, I am ..." He looked at the night sky outside the window, "What time is it? How long have I been sleeping?"

"Eight hours. It is midnight now."

"It's late." Xie Bi An was even more moved, "Have you been watching over me?"

Fan Wu She stared at him.

"I promised to bring you for supper, but I didn't make it either."

"Let's go tomorrow night."

Xie Bi An sighed, "You should go back and rest, I'm fine."

Fan Wu She didn't move, "I'll watch over you."

"Senior Brother is really fine."

"I'm not comfortable with you suddenly fainting and then having nightmares and not being able to say what the reason is." Fan Wu She had no intention of leaving, "You lie down and rest, I'll watch over you."

"But ..."

"Lie down." Fan Wu She had a tone of voice that did not allow for any argument.

Xie Bi An laid back on the bed helplessly. He closed his eyes and tried to rest, but his mind was in turmoil. There was also someone sitting next to him, so how could he fall asleep? Shortly after, he opened his eyes, "Wu She."

"Yes." Fan Wu She was meditating with his eyes closed.

"Come and sleep with senior brother."

"..."

"You insist on watching over me. It must be tiring to sit like this all night. Come on." Xie Bi An moved to the side of the bed and patted the spot beside him.

He opened his eyes. His dark eyes were glittering in the darkness of the night, and after a pause, he got up on the bed and slowly lay down next to Xie Bi An.

Xie Bi An felt a little more at ease. He patted the back of Fan Wu She’s hand and said with a smile, "Junior brother, thank you."

Fan Wu She took a deep breath and dismissed the distracting thoughts in his mind, for it was better to share a bed like this, even if he did nothing. In fact, in those last days, he was tired of hurting each other and hating each other. He simply just wanted to get along with that person, just like ... just like an old married couple.

Xie Bi An closed his eyes once again, yet he was still unable to fall asleep.

What was that dream all about? He could still recall quite a few fragments. He seemed to have a younger brother named Xiao Jiu and they seemed to have a strong bond, but then they turned against each other afterwards?

The dream was really ridiculous and uncoordinated. What gave him the biggest headache was how he could dream of a man ... violating him?

He grew up in a simple environment since he was young and had little opportunity to come into contact with men and women of his own age, but that doesn't mean he didn't know anything. He has secretly read books and picture books. He knows a little bit about the things between man and woman, as well as between two men. Some of the lower societies in the immortal cultivation world advocate dual-cultivation, and they do not care if the pair is of the same sex. 

What impressed him most about matters between men was the gossip about Chunyang Sect, that because there were no women in the sect, so there were disciples who secretly had sex with each other, and that some demonic cultivators liked to prey on Chunyang Sect’s cultivators because the first release of the pure Yang body was a great tonic. These untoward country gossips circulated fastest in the marketplace, and he listened to them as tales of curiosity.

He had never thought that male-male affairs would have anything to do with him, even in his dreams.

How could this be, how could he dream of such things? There is a saying: what you think during the day will become dreams at night. Could it be…could it be that he has this interest?

But he didn't think about it during the day!

Xie Bi An was so shocked that it’s even more difficult for him to sleep now, and at the same time, he fell into deep self-doubt.

 

----

PS: XBA already doubting himself LOL

Editor Thoughts:

It seems like XBA is asking for it to me xD I facepalmed at "Come and sleep with me" LOL

Leave a like and comment if you liked this chapter! See you in the next one.

- Limit

 

Edited on 21 Mar. 21 (Emzie)

Edited on 31 Aug 21 (Limit)

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