Chapter 140

Zong Zi Heng was caught in a nightmare. 

In his dream, he was back in the snowy plains of Kunlun. Everything was extremely weird. He knew he was dreaming, knew he wasn't supposed to be here, that this memory existed in the past, but he couldn't wake up. Not only that, but the pain, the cold, the fatigue, the hunger, all the despair that had been inflicted on him at that time reappeared.

The blood from his wounds had turned to ice. His golden core was completely empty, and the extreme cold was causing his body to lose consciousness gradually from the ends of his limbs to his flesh and bones. Just waiting for that moment when the fire of life would be extinguished and the freezing cold would consume him, or vice versa, which will also have the same ending.

He knew he was going to die in this deserted, icy landscape, and the only thing he was glad about was that he had desperately escaped without letting Zong Ming He get his hands on his core.

He collapsed in the snow. His thoughts following his body as they become stiff, but all those things that had happened in his short life came back to him quickly and clearly, appearing before his eyes.

In this near-death moment, there were only two people left that he was willing to recall; his mother and Xiao Jiu.

He had hated Shen Shi Yao and could no longer face such a mother, but when he looked back the last time, all he remembered was how both of them had clung to each other in the deep palace. His mother's caring words and gentle caresses and her tears when she had been wronged. If it wasn't for the torture of suffering fate, she could have been a free and easy-going cultivator, and married to someone who treated her with sincerity.

His poor mother ah. If she had not harmed those he held dear, he would have fought with his life just for her to have what she wanted.

But he had to protect Xiao Jiu, the one he would also give everything for, and the one he loved most.

He would die in this blanket of white misery, but his Xiao Jiu would live freely in the rich, diverse and gorgeous human realm. And that was enough.

His thoughts gradually scattered into the wilderness. His body was no longer cold and aching. He let go of love and hate, gain and loss. In the midst of this ultimate penetration, it was as if a golden light had descended from the heavens and violently split open his spiritual wisdom. A huge heavenly gate slowly opened before his eyes, and he actually had a moment of enlightenment of the mysterious eighth Chongtian of the Zongxuan Sword, which he had struggled to understand.

But what was the use? He was going to die.

His body was plunged into two heavens of ice and fire, alternating between extreme heat and extreme cold, tearing him apart completely. He wailed hard but could not make a single sound as he was engulfed in darkness.

"Big brother, big brother."

An urgent call came from the darkness, and Zong Zi Heng felt his heart awaken with a thumping leap. It was Xiao Jiu, it was Xiao Jiu calling him, it had to be Xiao Jiu!

Zong Zi Heng struggled to "pull" his scattered body back and tried hard to open his heavy eyelids.

He woke up from the dream, but when he looked at Zong Zi Xiao, he did not want to believe that it was Xiao Jiu.

Zong Zi Xiao let out a light breath, hid his concern and said coldly, "You had a nightmare."

A nightmare ... yeah. He dreamt of the near-death experience in his life. If Qi Meng Sheng hadn't saved him, he would have died for sure.

While he was recuperating in the Fenglin continent, Zong Ming He secretly came to the Fenglin continent and unsuccessfully demanded for someone. Because the Cangyu Sect did not put the Zong Clan in their eyes much, plus Zong Ming He was afraid of making a big deal out of it, so he did not dare to use force.

At this time, Li Xiang Tong passed away. Before she died, she requested for another grave to be set up in Mount Shu for her and Zong Zi Mo, so Zong Ming He had to return to Daming angrily and take Shen Shi Yao with him to Mount Shu to blackmail him into showing himself.

In order to save his mother, he could only go up to Yunding with his sword alone.

What happened afterward is known to the world, except that the truth has long since been painted over several times and become completely different.

This was just his usual dream about the past. Actually, it wasn’t really considered a nightmare, because a long, long time ago, he was living in a nightmare every day.

Zong Zi Heng's pale, paper-like face caused Zong Zi Xiao's heart to palpitate as he gently stroked his big brother's silky cheek, "What did you dream about? If you are afraid, you can say it."

Zong Zi Heng's hollow gaze slowly turned from the void to Zong Zi Xiao's face. The muddiness brought on by the dream receded. What had happened last night was the next wave to come. He remembered how Zong Zi Xiao had forced him to call out "Xiao Jiu", and how he bit his lips in a near-death frenzy of lust and refused to say anything.

Under the gaze of those gradually clearing eyes, Zong Zi Xiao's heart felt weak.

The sensations in his body were rapidly returning to place and Zong Zi Heng felt that none of his body parts did not ache unbearably as he closed his eyes and turned away.

But Zong Zi Xiao did not allow him to turn his back on him and turned him around again: "You have slept for a long time. Get up and eat something."

Zong Zi Heng remained silent.

"What, are you going to act mute?" Zong Zi Xiao huffed, "Not talking to me for the rest of your life?"

"..."

Zong Zi Xiao yanked him up. The blanket on his body slipping off, revealing his chest speckled with love marks that seemed astonishingly eye-catching.

Zong Zi Heng looked at him indifferently.

"Why won't you call me?" Zong Zi Xiao couldn't help but ask in a coarse voice.

Last night, this man had orgasmed under his body several times, unable to ejaculate anything, was confused, crying and begging for mercy without regard to his dignity. Even then, he refused to call him "Xiao Jiu".

Why? By not admitting he was Xiao Jiu, it was just like erasing their past. When he thought of this, Zong Zi Xiao felt a piercing pain in his heart.

Zong Zi Heng's red lips trembled slightly as he mumbled, "You're not Xiao Jiu."

"Then who am I!?" Zong Zi Xiao growled.

If he wasn't Xiao Jiu, then who was he? He was not a descendant of the Zong clan. He should not be surnamed Zong. He hated Lu Zhao Feng and he would never be surnamed Lu. His name, his origins, his family history, all were shadows in the water, which were crumpled beyond recognition when the wind blew.

Who exactly was he? Who could see his true form through the name that was not his? Who would still care for him when he had no name, just the real him?

His mother was gone. His big brother ... His big brother had betrayed him, but he still craved the warmth that his big brother had once given him. Beneath his appearance that the world feared, was actually hiding a lonely, timid child, crying and waiting for his big brother to save him.

But his big brother refused to save him, or even to acknowledge him.

The only person left in this world who has seen Xiao Jiu says that he is dead.

Who is he?!

Zong Zi Heng shook his head, "Xiao Jiu ... wouldn't do this to me."

"Then what did you do to Xiao Jiu?" Zong Zi Xiao’s eyes were fierce, "Ask yourself what you did to Xiao Jiu!"

"Xiao Jiu wouldn't do ... that to me," Zong Zi Heng had trouble speaking and just shook his head.

"You're wrong. Xiao Jiu has always wanted to do this to you." Zong Zi Xiao smiled, his teeth as white as a blade, "Because I grew up thinking that you belonged to me alone, so I forbade you to marry, so I vowed that one day I would return to Daming and do everything I wanted to you."

Zong Zi Heng still shook his head. He didn't believe it.

"Look at me." Zong Zi Xiao panickily grabbed his big brother's shoulders and said in a stern voice, "Look at me!"

Zong Zi Heng looked at Zong Zi Xiao with fright.

"Whether you want to admit it or not, I am Xiao Jiu. You killed him, so he can only live inside me." Zong Zi Xiao pounded his fist against his heart, "I am your man. You have to accept that I am Zong Zi Xiao and Xiao Jiu."

"Don’t say anymore." Zong Zi Heng's eyes filled with blood. His expression was crying, but his eyes were dry, as if he was ashamed to even shed tears for such mutual torture.

"You refuse to call me that, I will have ways to make you say it." Zong Zi Xiao gently pushed aside his big brother's forehead hair, carefully examining the face that he loved and hated to the marrow of his bones, "We still have a long time."

Zong Zi Heng gasped, terrified by Zong Zi Xiao's insatiable animalism. His body had been violated all night, forcibly remembering every touch, every collision, every kiss that Zong Zi Xiao had given him. His body went out of his control. How humiliating and unbearable it was to be played lewdly with by his own younger brother. He was clearly loathing in his heart, but this body kept shamelessly succumbing to the sexual desire again and again.

"Xiao Jiu" was his bottom line and his only remaining loincloth. If this bottom line was also pierced through, he did not know how he could face Xiao Jiu and himself.

Zong Zi Xiao let go of him.

Zong Zi Heng shrank back into the blanket, burying half of his face into the pillow.

After a long silence, Zong Zi Xiao asked, "You spoke a lot of nonsense in your dream."

Zong Zi Heng stiffened.

"You were saying ... how Shen Shi Yao had died."

Zong Zi Xiao had vowed to grind Shen Shi Yao's bones and scatter her ashes* to console his mother's spirit in heaven, but he had never expected her to die early, which was cheap of her.

Zong Zi Heng whispered, "Suicide."

"Why? Discovering conscience?" Zong Zi Xiao said coldly, "Does that poisonous woman even have a conscience?"

For more than ten years, she had pretended to be gentle and soft, taking good care of his mother. Her sisterly love gained her trust, and finally stabbed them, mother and son, in the most vicious and deepest way. Would such a person have a heart?

For a long time, he refused to believe that his big brother would betray him, but he used Shen Shi Yao to convince himself that the same hypocrisy, the same insidiousness, the same tactics in buying hearts, this mother and son were truly one in the same lineage.

Zong Zi Heng became silent. His mother had killed his father and then killed herself for fear of being arrested for her crime. This is a secret that he would carry to his grave.

"It was fear of being arrested for her crime, wasn't it?" Zong Zi Xiao said in a cold voice, "Zong Zi Mo and Li Xiang Tong's deaths were all related to her, and Zong Ming He brought her to Mount Shu to use her life to pay."

"She's already dead, what more do you want?" Zong Zi Heng said indifferently.

"Yes, she is dead. I am unable to do anything to her." Zong Zi Xiao wrapped his fingers around in his big brother's hair, "Luckily there is you."

Zong Zi Heng secretly gripped the blanket tighter.

"What about Qi Meng Sheng?" Zong Zi Xiao asked in a seemingly indifferent manner.

"..."

"Why did you call Qi Meng Sheng’s name in your dream?" Zong Zi Xiao's fingers slid from his big brother's cheek to his neck, and everywhere they passed was like a blade licking through.

"I dreamt of Kunlun."

"And then?"

"Kunlun ... was very cold."

"Why did you and Zong Ming He go to Kunlun back then? What exactly did you just dream about?" Zong Zi Xiao intensified his tone, "Don't speak nonsense, just say it."

"Why we went to Kunlun, don't you know?" Zong Zi Heng struggled to maintain a superficial calm on the surface.

"What a joke. Could it be that he was forging a sword for me then?"

"He didn't want the family scandal to be publicized, and all the preparations were already in place, so he simply went to Kunlun as originally planned and changed to core refinery instead. Just that when Li Xiang Tong died, the core refinery was left unsettled."

Zong Zi Xiao reluctantly accepted this seemingly flawless explanation, "What about Qi Meng Sheng?" Jealousy emerged inside him again.

"I dreamt about the big snow in Kunlun. It was too cold. Other than that, I don't remember anything."

Zong Zi Xiao narrowed his eyes at him for a moment before he said, "After the New Year, I will go and find Qi Meng Sheng. If I find out that you guys are hiding something from me, I will not spare you guys."

 

 ----

grind someone’s bones and scatter her ashes*[挫骨扬灰]----used when you hate someone to the core

 

Edited on 30 Apr. 21 (Emzie)

 

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