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June 07, 2021

Chapter 235

This regret that has come too late is only sarcastic to Xie Bi An's ears. He had lost everything with nothing left, and already had no expectations for Fan Wu She since long ago. He just wants to stay away, away from Fan Wu She, away from this world.
 
It's just that even though he is beyond help, he still has a concern in his heart; there is still an unfinished mission. He wants to save people. He wants to save the world. This life can only burn the last flame, so that it was not in vain to come to earth again. And Fan Wu She also saw this. Regardless of the past lives and present lives, this person always has enough leverage to blackmail him.

"I've been listening to you since I was a kid." Fan Wu She made his voice very gentle, "Do you remember? Sometimes I could not even listen to my father and mother, but I listened to big brother. I really want to go back to the past."

"How long ago?" Xie Bi An whispered.

Fan Wu She froze.

"In the earliest days, we were just brothers. After that, I became your prisoner, but we never talked about the love between us again. Then after that, we were senior and junior brothers who had a mutual understanding and promise with each other, but that was just a hoax." Xie Bi An glanced at Fan Wu She faintly, "You want me to be your big brother again, showing tender care for you, and you want me to be your exclusive property, letting you do whatever you want. It seems that every past can't be exactly what you want, so which one do you want to go back to?"

That irreverent and pointless tone was as if talking about a stranger who has nothing to do with him, but the words that came out were like a sharp blade that stabbed Fan Wu She painfully. He pondered for a moment: "You are right, we cannot go back to whichever past. I want to have a new beginning with big brother."

Xie Bi An stood up and walked slowly to the window, giving Fan Wu She a silent back.

"Big brother, do you know how much I… " Fan Wu She took a deep breath and whispered, "love you. This point has not changed from the beginning to the end. I can do anything for you. Jiang Qu Lian, Xu Zhi Nan, or whoever, as long as you say it."

"Okay, you go and kill them and save Official Lord Cui and big brother Lan."

"If I did that, what would big brother do?"

Xie Bi An could feel the two burning gazes pinned behind him without turning around. He said in a deep voice, "The disaster of this world started because of you. You should also be the one to put it to an end."

"So what if it started because of me?" Fan Wu She said coldly, "I don't care about their life or death, nor do I care about the balance between the human and ghost realms. All I care about is you."

Xie Bi An turned around, "The new beginning you wants to continue to blackmail me."

"I…" Fan Wu She’s sword brows knitted, "No, I will never force you. I just want to stay by your side,"

"What if I’m not willing?"

"Wherever you go, I’ll go." Fan Wu She forced a smile. "I loved to pester you when I was a child. If I wasn't young at that time, I always wanted to follow you when you left the palace. Big brother, at least let me stay with you. I only have this request."

Xie Bi An took a deep breath, and his hands clenched unwittingly. He knew what Fan Wu She was doing. He kept calling him "big brother", and kept talking about his childhood. He just wanted to make him soft-hearted. After all, Xiao Jiu was an unshakable and indelible existence in his heart. They both knew how much guilt and responsibilities he had taken was for Xiao Jiu.

"Who can stop you?" Xie Bi An said lightly, "Even if you want my core, you can take it by all means."

Fan Wu She's face was instantly pale: "I don't want your core. I did get carried away back then, but in fact, I couldn't do it. I didn't think you would…that's the most regretful thing in my life."

"Then there's nothing I can give you."

"You have. I would be satisfied just to see you every day."

"You won't be satisfied." Xie Bi An looked at the distant mountain scenery unblinkingly, "You've never been a person who can be satisfied. You want everything, and if you can't get it, you will even snatch it."

Fan Wu She nodded: "It is always big brother who understands me best, but does big brother remember that I was not so greedy once? I just want to be with big brother for the rest of my life. If big brother becomes the Human Emperor, I will assist you. If I become the Human Emperor, I also want to stay together with big brother for life." He looked straight into Xie Bi An's eyes, "What I want most is just you."

Xie Bi An didn't want to get entangled in words anymore. After a long silence, he said, "What plan do you have? Now the underworld has been controlled by Jiang Qu Lian while the five ghost emperors were watching from the sidelines, and he still has hostages in his hands."

"I'll think of a way to rescue the hostages first. I will destroy his army of ghost citizens." Fan Wu She said arrogantly, "Back then, the Great Emperor Beiyin only won a miserable victory. Jiang Qu Lian is merely a ghost king. I will show him the power of the Heavenly Secret Talisman."

"He will definitely be prepared." Xie Bi An said sternly, "Even if we can successfully rescue the hostages, you can't tear open the Fengdu boundary like you did in your previous life. All the people in Jiuzhou can be his hostages. I can't take that risk."

Fan Wu She smiled faintly, "I'll listen to big brother."

Xie Bi An glanced at him coldly, "Is there any news from Xu Zhi Nan?"

"I only know that he did not return to Chidi City. Now he cannot be tolerated anywhere, and he has disappeared for the time being. He is seriously injured. Even if his soul is swapped into Cheng Yan Zhi's body, Cheng Yan Zhi still can't leave the Seven Stars Lamp, so he’s probably at more of a disadvantage."

Xie Bi An shook his head: "Xu Zhi Nan is perhaps the smartest person I've ever met. He is obviously cold and ruthless, but he acted with love and righteousness. He fooled everyone, including me. He spent a hundred years laying out such a meticulous game, just for the sake of being reborn in a young and healthy body. At this last juncture, he would not fail to leave himself a way out."

"But he can't be reborn if he doesn't get the Absolute Human Emperor."

"The Golden Trunk Jade Policy is still in his hands. There have been several hundred thousand emperors since ancient times. I should not be the only cultivator with the imperial destiny currently. I only have the highest cultivation. If he goes for the next best thing, as long as he finds one that has formed a core, perhaps it can also help him to achieve it."

Fan Wu She pondered, "Chidi City must be sealed so that he can't go near Shen Nong Ding. I will send people to encircle Chidi City first."

"Right." Xie Bi An said, "We can't continue to stay here."

"Your injury is still not healed."

"It's no longer a big deal."

"No." Fan Wu She was used to being in control, and as soon as the words were spoken, he immediately softened his tone, "Big brother, your spirit veins are badly injured. The cave on Mount Daming will help you heal. When you've recovered, I will take you away."

Xie Bi An felt a little ridiculous. After all, it was Fan Wu She who had beaten him into serious injury, it's just that he couldn't laugh.

But Fan Wu She seemed to sense what was on his mind and whispered, "After all, your current body is several years apart from your previous life in terms of cultivation. The eight Chongtian cannot be controlled as you please. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"How much longer?" Xie Bi An asked expressionlessly, "How much longer before I can leave?"

Fan Wu She said warmly, "It will be much faster if you don't resist me so I can heal you."

"..."

"You've been standing for too long today. It's time to go back to bed and rest."

Xie Bi An hesitated for a moment, but complied and returned to his bed.

He thought that Fan Wu She must have done it on purpose. Although the temporary imperial palace was not as good as Wuji Palace, there were still twenty to thirty rooms, but Fan Wu She had simply placed him in the one where the two of them had stayed in their previous life.

He had too many shameful memories of that bed. Zong Zi Xiao brought him here in the name of enjoying the snow, but actually he just wanted to find a secluded, undisturbed place to do whatever he wanted. He was a person who had been practicing martial arts since he was three years old, but he was tossed and turned until his legs were too weak to walk, and he could only be carried back to the palace after getting out of the sedan chair. He was ashamed to think how those who had witnessed it would have laughed at him behind his back, and how the rumors would have been spiced up and intolerable to the ear when they spread outside the palace and across the immortal cultivation world.

Every time he lies here, it is torment for him. But this is Fan Wu She's purpose ---- to force him to recall the most "intimate" memories of the two of them.

Fan Wu She helped him lie down and tucked him in: "Although it's summer, it's still cool in the mountains, especially after the sun goes down."

Xie Bi An turned his face towards the inside of the bed.

"Of course, it's even colder in winter. Do you still remember when we came here as children? I was always so cold that I had to sleep under the same quilt with you." Fan Wu She smiled, "Afterwards, I wasn't afraid of the cold anymore, instead you... " His smile stopped abruptly as he remembered what he had seen on the Jade Policy. He finally understood why his big brother was so afraid of the cold, even of the snow.

Because he was once severely injured by his own father and nearly froze to death in the boundless snowfields of Kunlun. He was later saved by Qi Meng Sheng and barely escaped death, but his fear of that bone-chilling cold had been engraved into his soul.

And what did he do when he found out that he was afraid of the cold? He wrapped him in a fur coat hastily, carried him to the snow, and violated him, just because he liked that he would hold him tightly in fear and cold.

Fan Wu She didn't dare to recall what he had done to his big brother. His evil deeds were too numerous to record. Every time he recalled them, he was in deep despair.

Xie Bi An's jawline was tense. His lips were pursed, and he did not say a word. He obviously thought the same thing.

After a while, Xie Bi An felt a warm stream flowing into his body. It was Fan Wu She's spiritual power.

"I will never let you be cold again." Fan Wu She felt his heart twisted, "When I was young, I vowed to protect you for life, not to let anyone bully you, not to let anyone give you grievance, but it was I who hurt you the most. Next time, I..."

"Say no more." Xie Bi An said softly, "I don't want to hear it."

Fan Wu She's hand trembled. He gloomily lowered his eyes and whispered, "I know you don't want to hear it, but I have to say it. I'm afraid you will forget. I'm afraid you don't care anymore. If you don't even care about Xiao Jiu, then I don't know what to do anymore."

"..."

The temperature brought by the revolving of the spiritual power circulated in both of their bodies. Their bodies were a little hotter than usual, but their hearts were cold all along because they were difficult to touch, because they were too far apart, and because they avoided it.

 
----
watched from the sidelines*[作壁上观]---basically ‘not my problem’ or ‘I don’t care’
 
 
Edited on 8 June 21 (Emzie)
 
 
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10 comments:

  1. Demon can be like a chatterbox eh..bla bla bla, as a reader am tired to read FWS this n that hahaha

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  2. I don't like him and that's fuckinn it

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  3. He regrets torturing him, but took him to the place where he used to torture him. Child, stop pretending. The only reason you feel guilty is bc you realise that you'll definitely never get back the love ZZH/XBA had for you.
    I think love itself is selfish. But this type of person is the worst type of them all.

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    1. Ah, also what he does rn is very cunning. Trying to focus only on their good memories, always appear in front of ZZH, being 'well behaved' etc. Don't they have a saying of 'you can't greet a smile with a slap'?

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  4. I'm so sad that the original xba really did disappear even though it was the thing he was scared of most before his memories

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  5. Sigh... in the end, ZZX's persistence is the only way to mend their relationship.

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  6. At least ZZX is open and communicatinf unlike ZZH always carrying everything by himself and creating misunderstandings lololls

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  7. of all the suffering mc i have read, xie bian might be my least favorite because he is also such a fucking hypocrite and proud. honestly i like fan wushe even though he has done some fucked up things

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  8. Mas eu ri no "ok, então vá lá e mate eles" AUAHUAHAJAH o maior poder de XBA é FWS

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  9. this dude just doesn't know how to repent does he

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